


Cool Milkshake Diner Date

by direhund



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: M/M, atem has his own body for reasons that are good and also none of your business, i dont usually write fluff stuff so like? is this even fluff? idfk, oh man its a double date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/direhund/pseuds/direhund
Summary: Couple nicknames come up and everyone's having a good time except Kaiba (probably).





	

**Author's Note:**

> just kidding kaiba is having a great time! i'm depressed and can't sleep so instead of finishing the first chapter of a puppyship thing i'm trying to do, i finished this~

“Wait, so you don’t even have cute couple nicknames…? Not even the super normal kind that everyone else have?” Kaiba kind of shrugs his shoulders without looking up from his phone, which jostles the thoughtful-looking Jounouchi leaning lazily against his right side. How this subject even came up has long since been lost to all of their minds, but so far they have come to establish Atem and Yugi are every bit the grossly adoring couple Kaiba and Jounouchi are not. Which is hilarious, actually (to Jounouchi), and apparently semi-distressing to Yugi (because “What the fuck, why are you guys even dating, then?”).

“I dunno, it’s kind of dumb, don’t you think?” Jounouchi says, dragging himself upright to have another go at the half-finished chocolate milkshake on the table. He’d politely given Kaiba at least seven minutes to take interest in it, and it was starting to slush, so he decided he had full rights to the entire thing.

“Well, no, not exactly… We do it sometimes,” Yugi says with a measure of sheepishness, twirling his spoon listlessly in the remains of a strawberry sorbet thing the two of them had shared. Kaiba snorts and Jounouchi stops his milkshake mission altogether to look at Yugi _some kind of way_. Atem takes this moment to roll his eyes and gaze very pointedly at something just past Kaiba’s face, resting his chin in his hand. At all this, Yugi rushes to defend, “Not like anything stupid! Or mushy! Or embarrassing! Just normal stuff. You know, like--”

“I’m sure they get what you mean,” Atem says quickly, right as he taps his knuckles against Yugi’s mouth to quiet him. Now Yugi rolls his eyes and nudges Atem in the ribs. He looks disgruntled, and Jounouchi can’t resist the urge to tease when he knows how hopelessly flustered Atem gets just talking about romantic gestures. Even simple flirting sets him on edge -- _assuming_ he registers someone’s flirting with him at all. It was actually a miracle among miracles that he even agreed go on a double date (the accompanying miracles being getting _Kaiba_ to agree to come).

“I actually don’t, Yugi, please continue,” he prods. Atem sends him a glower that’d wilt flowers while Yugi casually waves him off.

“Whatever, you guys are the ones that are weird. You can’t just call each other by your surnames forever. Doesn’t it get uncomfortable?” He brings the subject back around, leaving poor Jounouchi hanging in a fit of mercy for Atem. Kaiba heaves a massive sigh, but offers no actual comment or even a glance away from his phone. He earns a crisply delivered middle finger from Yugi for it.

“Nah, nah, no look! He doesn’t always call me Jou. Sometimes it’s ‘fuck off’. Usually it’s just ‘shut up’,” Jounouchi grins over the straw of his shake.

“That doesn’t count,” Yugi says seriously, and points his finger at him, as if this whole matter is very serious business indeed.

“Personally, I think ‘rich bastard’ is quirky and adorable, even if it lacks creativity,” Kaiba finally contributes to the conversation with more than outward expressions of his indifference to it, tone dripping amused sarcasm. Jounouchi beams, all teeth and pride, and Yugi huffs and turns to drop his forehead dramatically against Atem’s shoulder.

“You guys are hopeless. A lost cause,” he mumbles, but Jounouchi can just barely see the glint of the smile he’d trying to hide. Like a reflex, Atem cards the fingers of his other hand sympathetically through Yugi’s hair, but even he’s kind of amused by the other couple’s antics.

“No, no, but come on, Yugi, we told you ours, you gotta tell us yours,” Jounouchi presses urgently, pushing aside the empty shake glass as Yugi snaps back up. This is when Kaiba decides to take note of it, looking faintly miffed but unsurprised to find it empty. He’ll complain about it later, probably. For now, he sets his phone down on the table and leans back in the booth, crossing his arms.

“Um, wow, actually, I don’t remember agreeing to that-- Atem, did we agree to that?” Yugi says, feigning a form of bemused offense.

“No,” Atem says flatly, staring Jounouchi down like a threat. Kaiba snickers. Yugi tosses up his hands and leans his elbows on the table.

“Yep, thought so. No pet names here,” he says with finality. Jounouchi shakes his head and leans away from the table.

“Oh, no. No. You don’t get off that easy; not after we just spilt our guts to you guys,” he says, to which Yugi takes great offense.

“Spilled your-- You didn’t even tell us! ‘Fuck off’ is not a nickname for your significant other!” He says, gesturing to Kaiba dismissively.

“It is, definitely, it’s his favorite,” Kaiba puts in dutifully, a little smirk on his face.

“Fuck off, Kaiba!”

“Hey, that’s _my_ pet name, man, step off!”

“Guys, we are in a public restaurant, just in case you forgot,” Atem interjects before the volume at their booth can keep climbing. A passing waitress eyes them in their sudden silence, and Kaiba notes a small child that’s probably been watching them for some time, turned around in its booth.

“So, Yugi, you were saying about you guys having normal nicknames for each other, like...?” Jounouchi breaks the silence with the chipper question. Atem sends him a dirty look over Yugi’s shoulder, and Yugi grins.

“Listen, I’m not the one who has a problem with sharing, here, it’s this one,” he says, shrugging helplessly.

“Why’s he so embarrassed if it’s so normal? Is it gooey stuff like ‘sweetie pie’,” Jounouchi leans across the table and drags out the syllables at Atem, whose face blazes red.

“Ew, gross,” Yugi answers in his stead, sticking out his tongue. Jounouchi just grins harder and tries again.

“So no ‘sugar specks’ or ‘angel cake’ for either of you?” He bridges his fingers under his chin.

“No,” Atem says, very firm, very embarrassed. Yugi laughs.

“So you really mean normal, like ‘babe’? ‘Honey’?” Jounouchi looks so very disappointed.

“Yes to both of those. There’s more, but they’re kind of along those lines,” Yugi says, even as Atem shoves at his face with one hand and tells him to stop. Jounouchi drops his arms on the table and shakes his head.

“Okay, well, you guys need to spice it up. Be more like me and dearest moneyfucker over here. For example, since you’re into that, Atem, you should start callin’ Yugi ‘shortcake’. Get it, because he’s short and you call people you love cake-y names?” He is very pleased with his own pun, grinning at Atem and awaiting his verdict.

“Do you?” Atem says less than he asks, raising a brow.

“You have never called me anything to do with a cake,” Kaiba interjects dryly. Jounouchi waves his hand at him.

“That’s because you’re a bitter, shrivelled raisin that’s got no business with cake,” he explains. Kaiba nods, accepting, but he still dips his fingers in the remains of the shake and smears melted chocolate on Jounouchi’s face. Yugi addresses Jounouchi’s original statement while he squawks and scrabbles for something to clean it off with. Kaiba makes a show of delicately cleaning his fingers off with a napkin.

“That’s kind of dumb and sappy coming from you, Jou,” Yugi says, looking kind of smug about it. Jounouchi viciously wipes the chocolate off with his sleeve, having found Kaiba had hoarded the rest of napkins to the far end of his side of the table, where Jounouchi can’t reach without leaning over him.

“I’m just saying, it fits,” he says, talking to Yugi even while he fixes a glare on Kaiba.

“It’s… cute,” Atem concedes sort of reluctantly, an exasperated little half smile on his face. “We appreciate the sentiment.”  

“‘Appreciate the sentiment’ is just a nice way a sayin’ ‘Wow, Jou, that’s actually really fucking weird, why would you ever suggest that’,” Jounouchi says sourly, but his ire is less for his friends than Kaiba, infallible hoarder of napkins and destroyer of dignities.

“Yes,” Yugi confirms, picking up a near-empty glass of soda to finish it.

“We should go soon,” Kaiba abruptly changes the subject, eyeing the waitress across the diner expectantly. Jounouchi takes this as his cue to grab the milkshake glass and use the straw to slurp whatever scant remains he can scavenge as obnoxiously as possible, and Atem brightens considerably at the statement. Yugi begins to arrange their dishes in stacks with a hum of agreement.

“Yeah, how are we paying, again?” Jounouchi asks, and he barely gets the words out before Yugi shouts, “Nose goes!” Dutifully, he grabs Atem’s wrist and just puts his whole hand over his nose because Atem never participates otherwise, and then rests his free index finger on the tip of his own nose. Jounouchi reacts on reflex, mimicking the movement, and then everyone collectively looks at Kaiba, who glowers straight ahead like the devil himself (his one and only true life competitor, besides Atem) fills the diner’s doorway.

“I really hate all of you,” he says softly, and full of feeling.

“You better tip our waitress good, or I’m gonna kick your ass into next weekend,” Jounouchi snaps without a moment’s pause. Kaiba flips him off just as said waitress arrives with their bill. Atem is the first to get up, practically leaping out of the booth with Yugi right on his heels, and she watches them almost warily, like she’s waiting for a complaint. They don’t really glance twice at her, though, aside from Yugi’s swiftly delivered, “Thank you!” Jounouchi swears the two run on a single brain, what with how they’re practically never out of sync. Kaiba watches them go with a sneer as he hands the lady her booklet with his card tucked inside and the due payment and tip written on the accompanying receipt.

“I’ll be right back, sir,” she says, taking it back with a smile. She scoots away and Jounouchi makes to -- quite literally -- climb over Kaiba and escape the booth after Yugi and Atem, who had made a beeline for the door and could be seen huddled together just outside.

“You are so obnoxious,” Kaiba hisses, catching his jacket and attempting to wrestle him back into the booth. The least he could do was be a proper gentleman and wait with Kaiba for her to come back.

“And you are so in my way. Move it or lose it, fucker,” he retorts, because Jounouchi is not and never will be a proper gentleman. He doesn’t let him go.

“Lose what,” he says instead, quirking a brow. Jounouchi stops, looks at him, looks towards the windows, then back to him again, eyes narrow and calculating. Kaiba meets his gaze evenly, deceptively patient

“Wouldn’t you hate to find out when we’re back at your place and it’s too late to salvage the great gift you could have. The one that is me,” Jounouchi answers finally, doing his best impression of someone who’s good at looking down his nose at others. Kaiba’s mouth twitches into a smirk, and if the waitress hadn’t come up just then, he would ask Jounouchi to elaborate. Instead, he lets him scramble after their friends and collects his card again with a curt thanks to her. She makes herself scarce with a nod and a beaming smile, and Kaiba stands up to trail more elegantly after Jounouchi.

**Author's Note:**

> okay! pls tell me how/if you liked it, i'm??? twice as self conscious with my writing when it's not porn lol ;w; ilu if u read all this, and i'm probably gonna write actual smut now! wash my hands of this


End file.
